Under Pressure

I’m now with the CybeResponse team. That means I don’t take in calls any more. I only answer e-mails from customers and resolve their concerns that way. It’s no longer that pressure-laden work but since I’m still not certified yet, I need to catch up on my e-mails.

I just came back to recount this call I had during the JD Power blitz. You’ll learn more on JD Power on the previous logs.

To help us achieve an excellent rating on our customer service, scripts were posted on our stations. It has suggested verbiage on every almost all situations. The ending for calls had a suggestion of saying “It was a real pressure helping you today, Mr. Customer.”

Sounds easy? No. Without practice, the real rolls off and creates a problem to pressure. Thus, my blooper in one call.

The customer had so many issues that, although she wasn’t very demanding, it was really a hassle going back and forth on her account. I was able to answer all of her questions, explained her bill, programming and so on and so forth. After making sure I have addressed all her concerns, I read from the cheat sheet the “It was a real pleasure helping you today…”

But it didn’t come out that way. Instead…

“Well, Mrs. Clemeno, it was a real pressure helping you today!”

Half meant?

Philippines: 51st State

We’re hyping up excellent customer service at the office. Our client, or program, had always managed to stay on top of the list of JD Power, which comes up with an annual list of companies providing excellent customer service in the US. So aside from resolving customer’s issues, no matter how trivial, I am going the extra mile, I do teleport-ing – that is, telephone rapport. Instead of saying the dead air script, I take the time to ask how the customer’s are. When customers remember the call, it could create the impression that we’re not just business as usual, but reps are human beings too with a genuine concern for their welfare.

And so a call came in, not that calls coming in was actually new to me, from a certain Mrs. Barker asking for a credit for a time without service, supposedly due to technical error. The customer is an elderly, and according to her she’s bedridden and was not able to call the previous day to report the issue. I’m usually firm in cases like this, Quality before customer service. These people have the tendency to ask for frequent credit. And so I told her, “This is a one-time courtesy Mrs. Barker, and the next time, if you have a problem with your service, call us so we can fix it, because we don’t usually credit two hours of programming interruption unless we actually get a report from a customer.”

The lady agreed and so waited until I applied a credit to her account, which requires me to write a short report for the amount applied. In that few seconds of silence, as I have not mastered multi-tasking yet, speaking while typing a different matter altogether (last time I did, I found I have typed in an account with a technical issue: ASKED CUSTOMER TO RESET RECEIVER. NAAYOS.) the lady asked: “Is that you typing?”

Dom: Yes, Mrs. Barker.

Mrs. Barker: I sooooo hate you! You type so fast!

That made me laugh and so went on to take the opportunity to establish rapport.

Dom: Easter is coming up. Any plans on Easter Sunday?

Mrs. Barker: Nah, I just stay home with my cat, who doesn’t even know she’s a cat.

Dom: (laughing) It will freak me out if your cat barks one day.

Then I heard a laughter I’ve never heard from a customer before. It was plain unguarded laughter; it was so loud and so long it gave me goose bumps. I’ve never made a customer laugh this way before. It was so genuine!

And in my mind I was saying: Mrs. Barker naman, lumang joke na sa ‘Pinas yan e!

Then another call came in, which doesn’t surprise me at all, he he, from a customer who’s asking for an extension on her cut-off. Seeing that the customer had never asked for an extension before, I explained that we will grant the request provided she understands that we only grant requests like this once every six-months. The customer agreed and while completing her request, I again started the tele-port-ing!

Dom: How you doing these days, Mrs. Aton?

Mrs. Aton: Oh, great! But the weather is killing me. I can’t stand the cold. How’s the weather there?

Dom: (seeing an opportunity to make her remember this call..) Humid. You’d be surprised to know Mrs. Aton that I’m not even in the US.

Mrs. Aton: Really? Are you in Florida? (huh? Florida. Not in the US. Hello?)

Dom: No, I am in Asia. Manila, Philippines.

Mrs. Aton: Oh, wow! Really? (silence) Is that part of the country?

Jess Lapid and Negative and Positive and a Green Screen

Let’s talk about my good friend Alex, who uses the screen name Steven Marx during live calls. I remember last year when Steven came in for work really tired and sleepy and thought that he could just let that eight hours of work go by without affecting his work. Well, he was wrong. On one call, when he was explaining the bill to a customer and why it got high this year, he went on saying this: “Well ma’am, because of the negative and the positive….”

Of course the customer freaked out and said, “Wait honey, what negative and positive are you talking about?”

And so yesterday, Steven, not learning his lesson on polarity, had to dwell on show business… local show business, that is, when he was explaining the bill to a customer in the US.

Steven: Well, ma’am to offset the charges, I will apply a three month $5 discount on your Jess Lapid…”

Say what?!?

Slips of the tongue are very common when you’re on the phone for eight hours. Like Melanie, for instance:

Mel: The sports package is just $12 and you get about 30 regional and specialty sports networks. Gusto mo?

Still on Mel..

It was January 1 and naturally we were in high spirits, customers too, and so ending the call the customer said, “Happy New Year!” What was Mel’s reply?

Mel: Kayo din!

Don’t get me wrong, Mel was on the top 10 agents for Commonwealth for January. (And what could the agents ranked 20 up to 800 be doing on their calls, pray tell?)

Steven had to reassure his customer that the bill, which the customer has not been getting for 3 months now, will be sent this time by apologizing and well, ending it with a promise: “Basta, the bill will get there this time.”

Way back I had a call in which I told the customer, “Don’t worry, within 24 hours someone will kill you..” when I really meant “call”. Well, today I told the customer, “Let me research on this, Mr. Waller. It might take a bit, so I’m going to put you on hold for two months.”

Of course I realized that too late and the customer had already said, “That would be awful!”

I remember a call from an elderly lady who complained of a blank screen and not getting a picture on the TV. Now I have been a rep for this account for more than a year and my success rate on snowy/blue/black screen is something to be ashamed of. So I proceeded to troubleshoot hoping I could resolve this matter and after 5 minutes, I asked the elderly lady to check her screen again (since there was no one available to troubleshoot on her behalf).

Dom (or Patrick, my screen name): Can you kindly check on your screen again and see if a picture has come up?

Lady: Well, I think I see people walking but it’s pretty fuzzy and the screen is a little green.

Patrick: Can you please check on…

Lady: (thinking out loud, as if I wasn’t there at all) Oh, the people on the screen are the people outside my window, walking. It’s the reflection from outside the window!

In fairness to the old lady, there indeed was a tech issue that the higher level of support had to take care of….

Want to hear about my most frustrating call today? I got a call from another elderly customer, this time a man. He had a southern accent, which was very difficult to understand, plus, he ends his sentence with laughter. You know how elderly people calling in about technical issues, they’re a little bit embarrassed to ask for help. I would have wanted to help him out except that 5 minutes into the call, I still couldn’t understand his concern. So, probe!

Patrick: So, what’s the error message on the screen?

Old Man: No error message, hee hee!

Patrick: You’re not getting any picture then?

Old Man: Oh, no. The picture’s fine! It’s fine, alright!

Patrick: (checking for clues on the account information, I found a pending equipment for activation) You’re activating a receiver?

Old Man: Nah (then went on to say something really incoherent)…

Patrick: Oh, I see, (pretending I understood; I thought I heard the customer say something about the cables running back outside to the satellite and something about a hook up), you need a technician to come out and hook up the equipment!

Old Man: No, no! (still the jolly old man that’s becoming so irritating!) I can ask anyone to have it hooked up, hee hee! (then some more incoherent southern drawl talk).

Patrick: (that’s me, very frustrated and is now frank!) So what do you need us to do on the account?

Old Man: Oh, I need someone to come out and install an equipment … (at this point I didn’t even bother listening and just waited for the man to finish his sentence so I can do my transfer spiel)

I don’t think he was doing it on purpose,.. it was simply a Jess Lapid on a negative.. basta!

Insert it outside

Still on Pauline’s monits:

Transition agent instructing a customer to remove the access card then after a few seconds, reinsert the card to the receiver.

Agent: Ma’am, insert a valid access card to the receiver, and make sure it is outside.

Anyway, I’d like to recount a call I recently got. It was obviously a kid’s voice, maybe age 11-12. The account was listed as Jackie Garner, and so, to protect the account from unauthorized use, I pretended that there was a password on the account. This should put him off, I thought.

Dom: May I have the name on the account?

Kid 1: Jackie Garner, my wife. I am the husband.

Dom: (business as usual) May I have the password on the account?

Kid 1: Password? (after about 5 seconds of silence, the kid pretended to know what I was talking about) Oh, that! Ah… Are you talking about the password on the card? Well, I just want to order Wrestlemania 23 (which is around $40-50, depending if it’s in high definition or standard definition).

Dom: No, for security purposes, Mrs. Garner had instructed us to put a password on the account. Perhaps I can speak with the account holder to verify information on the account first?

Kid 1: Oh okay. You need to talk to my wife, then. (moving the mouthpiece from his mouth) Hey, Jackie! Here, get this. It’s for you.

Kid 2: (also a kid’s voice, and not even a female voice) Hi. I’m Mrs. Jackie Garner.

Dom: Hi, Mrs. Garner, I understand your husband would like to order the pay per view Wrestlemania 23. You need to verify the password first which you had instructed us to verify on every call.

Kid 2: Hmmm..

Dom: Well, if you forgot the password, maybe you can verify the last four digits of your social security number? (bluffing, as I am sure they don’t have that info as well).

Kid 2: Is it 1154? (he was wrong, of course)

Dom: No, that’s not the last four digits.

Kid 2: Oh, stupid me, the last four… is it 55426? (last four, hee hee, this call was so cute!)

Dom: Oh no, that’s not it.

Kid 2: (clearly frustrated with the outcome…) Hey, you want to go out with me?

*** line went dead***

 

Croatian Accent

Pauline was a teammate that was promoted last November to the communication coach position. Her job is to monitor calls of agents and coach them on their areas for improvement insofar as communicating with the customer is concerned. No matter what troubleshooting steps the agent do, whether it’s out of this world or not even remotely related to the customer’s technical issue, as long as the agent was communicating his instructions clearly, knows how to listen and empathize, is polite and courteous and follows transfer, hold and dead-air procedures, an agent can get 100% in communication (of course, Quality is a different monitoring process altogether).

One new-hire was coached as she was pronouncing “please” in a very “mall-ish” way. How’s that again? Recall the last time you were in National Bookstore or SM or Ever or whatever mall. Recall too the times you’ve heard the public address system with a customer service representative paging a customer or a manager. It goes something like this: “Paging customer Juan de la Cruz. Paging customer Juan de la Cruz. To the customer service plez. To the customer service plez!”

Plez! So Pauline had to coach her about it. She did an exercise with the agent asking her to pronounce the word correctly. And imagine her surprise when the agent said, matter of factly, “Oh no, I am using the Croatian accent!”

The agent almost hit the mark because if you look at it closely, the paging system at SM is operated by, whaddayouknow!, customer service representatives, too!

(Incidentally, I learned from someone that there is indeed a standard way for paging someone from the Information or Customer Service Desks of department stores. I learned that there is only one way to say, “Paging customer Juan de la Cruz. Paging customer Juan de la Cruz. To the customer service plez. To the customer service plez!”

The first time one says “To the customer service plez.”, the tone has to go up on plez, and the second “To the customer service plez.” the tone has to go down on plez! )

Here’s one more blooper from Pauline:

Agent: No, ma’am as I told you earlier, you have to type www.(name of website).com in small cups! In small cups!

Lesson from Mr. Krab of Spongebob Squarepants, “It’s not the boots, it’s the boot-ee!”

 I haven’t pinpointed it’s relation to our topic above, but I’m sure you’ll remember the lesson!

Of Civil Status and Due Dates

I had a customer who was very irate about his bill. He said he called up last month and asked what he needed to pay to bring the account current or even to zero balance so he could receive a bill for just the regular monthly service. At that time, a representative told him $184.58, which was way too inaccurate as his bill at that time was around $254.00. The previous amount was just the past due, and so the customer paid that and was surprised that his bill for this month carried a past due again. I told him the whole truth and even apologized for the information that was passed on to him. I went on to explain what he needed to pay, the balance as well as the amount we bill in advance. I even went to explain how our system bills (advance billing but everything gets adjusted as soon as a change is made on the account so everything is prorated). I told him his regular due date so he can be guided accordingly in the future.

Dom: Your regular due date is every 8^th of the month, Mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: So, you’re saying that my due date would be every 8^th of April.

Now that can’t be true, Sir, we bill you monthly, not yearly. Are you referring by any chance to your tax returns?

How I wish I had said that.

****

Another customer was disputing the Pay-per-view charges on her account saying that she does not rent movies and there was no way someone could have ordered without her knowledge.

Customer: There can be no way that these pay-per-views could have been ordered here in my house. I am singular and I live alone!

Good thing her name wasn’t Williams or Curtis… I could have made an equally stupid remark like, “Is that an ‘s’ in your last name? That’s plural, Ma’am, what singular are you talking about?”

How I Wish…

caller: i’m having a problem with my satellite tv. the remote is not changing the channels. dom: am sorry about that sir, but let me assure you you’re not the only one.
caller: what?! am hard of hearing, sir… i have a problem with hearing.
dom: i can understand your frustration.. i need to get the access card number. kindly pull out the access card from the receiver.
caller: where do i find that?
dom: in your living room, perhaps?
caller: no. i mean the access card.
dom: on the receiver. you might have to open a door to get it.
caller: ok, i’m opening the door to the bedroom.
dom: no, sir, the door on the receiver.
caller: yeah, i understand, but i have to get in the room to get to the receiver. i’m opening the door to my bedroom right now to get in.
dom: oh, i see.
caller: now i have the access card..
dom: sir, do you see the directv logo on the access card?
caller: yes.
dom: kindly disregard that logo and turn the card over and give me the card number.
caller: oh, ok.
dom: the last four digits of your credit card number would do.
caller: honey i can’t understand a word you are saying…
dom: yes.
caller: what do you mean yes?
dom: ok, then, no!
caller: ok the last four digits is 4820.
dom: thank you for that information. what’s the brand of your tv sir?
caller: samsung, why?
dom: is there anything wrong in asking? ok, on your remote control, move the slide to tv mode. press and hold the mute and select buttons until you see the light.
caller: ok. i see the light.
dom: congratulations! now enter the code, 5831251401532021579896243501542 on your key pad. you should see the light blinking again.
caller: no blinking light.
dom: ok, we will use another code. try 21.
caller: ok that worked.
dom: what happened? what’s the error message?
caller: on the remote?
dom: no, on the screen.
caller: it’s just black.
dom: the remote?
caller: no, the screen!
dom: ok, let’s reset. is there a red button near the access card slot?
caller: yes…
dom: disregard that and unplug it from the power source.
caller: the red button?
dom: no! the receiver.
caller: ok
dom: so did it fix the problem?
caller: with the satellite?
dom: no, you said with your hearing. well it seems we have not resolved the problem, let me direct your call to the next level of support to further assist you. but before i do so, i can see that you are not yet subscribed to our nfl package. if you sign up now, you get a $20 discount.
caller: but i don’t have a picture yet! can’t you see?
dom: i know, but $20 is $20. it is savings. imagine what you can buy with $20!
caller: well if you put it that way, sure. sign me up!

***end of call. ***

How I wish we can conduct a call like this….

Boxerhoods

I recently met up with friends who have entered the seminary; Marlon, with the Sacramentinos, and Ram, with the Dominicans. It was a night of familiar laughter, crazy antics, hackneyed jokes that still proved funny, and bloopers that could give sit-coms a run for its money (or bloopers that fueled sit-coms). The first few moments were (tense?) quiet, checking if we still had the same interests. Ram and I had spent the weekend together a few weeks ago in Bulacan to attend Joseph’s wedding (Joseph is another friend from the seminary who decided that married life is his vocation). So Ram and I had basically warmed up to each other before this night, sort of breaking in. Marlon, well, has it been 2 years? All communication with Marlon was through email.

We had coffee in the afternoon, with Marlon updating us on the lives of the other brothers. You see, Ram and I used to be with the Sacramentinos, with Marlon joining in a year later. But we were all members of the vocation club of the congregation so the friendship started there. The title of this blog, Boxerhoods, is the name we informally called ourselves. Back in 2001, Marlon, Ram, myself, and a fourth member, Ariel had spent almost all weekends of November and December tailing the gigs of Gladys and the Boxers with K around Quezon City. Wednesdays would be at Kampo, Fridays would be at Lite and Live, Thursdays at Ratsky’s. After the gig, we’d spend hours at Dunkin’ Donuts West Avenue.

Anyway, Marlon told us that two of our classmates (I disdain saying batch mates – isn’t batch for objects?), will now be leaving the seminary. These two are the most brilliant minds in our class, with genuine hearts ready to help. I would have loved seeing them within the Church and leading a flock of Catholics on the edge. I do know they don’t need the habit to lead Catholics but I just think they would have been perfect as priests or religious brothers. Then again, God calls the servants for his vineyard so I don’t call the shots. That leaves only two remaining classmates in the Sacramentino seminary.

Ram is still the quiet one (Ariel was not there so we wouldn’t know if things have changed a bit with him), but he has evolved. He’s witty now and unafraid to be sarcastic, which were solely Marlon and my turf during our heydays! I think, his separation from the group did him good. Yeah, Ram, it’s time to assert yourselves! Nyahaha! Time to let those hidden personality come out!

It was really fun to have old friends come into your life again. I can still remember the impromptu stand up comedy act Marlon and I did during lunchtime at Tarlac which unfortunately we forgot to document. It was about what is better, chicken or pork. Hay, if only I was wise enough to have that written down. It was hilarious that those taking lunch were so amused. We were amused ourselves! If only you guys can share in the laughter. It was a great repartee from Marlon and myself.

We thought of the things we used to do, like the reflective walk from Sta. Cruz Church, our club’s head office, and crossing the Jones bridge going to Lawton and there enjoy the lights and fountain at Liwasang Bonifacio. We were usually joined by Brian (moved to Mindanao), Jed (who has joined our Creator in 2002), Benjie (now in New York), Fowler (now in the Middle East), Joseph (just married) and sometimes Zaldy (with Marlon in the seminary) and Jasper (no news on him) would join us. Those were memorable days and it was this time when I really felt blessed to have friends. We often had our reflections based on the theme friendship.

During coffee with Marlon and Ram, we somehow remembered again that all the things that we enjoyed, that is, places we visited and the groups we admired, are all gone now. Strange that it somehow followed the path we were taking. Kampo, our Wednesday getaway has closed down and the Dunkin Donuts at West Avenue that became the place for ending the night, was replaced by that Iridology clinic. Lite and Live is now gone replaced by who-knows-what. Tia Maria at Tomas Morato closed down and is now a vacant space. Gladys and the Boxers with K is now just K and the Boxers.

I used to say, when I was younger, that I would stop knowing people. This was a month after graduating from High School and reminiscing on the years that passed while doing a mental roll-call on all friends over the years. I realized at that time that it was no use knowing people, making friends and having to lose them in the end because we all had to go our separate ways. I told this to Marlon once before and he said what was important was you enjoyed their company and that it was now a part of happy memories.

I said that happy memories were precisely the reason I wanted to stop the coming of new people in my life. Happy memories were just that, memories, and it pains me to remember them knowing that it was just a memory and one can’t bring them back.

I miss having Marlon and Ram around me. Marlon knew just when to come up with a line that would surely usher in a prolonged exchange of punch lines after punch lines. It was freaky. And Fowler was one person who was greatly amazed at how we can come up with one-liners and punch lines in split seconds. Ram on the other hand was the most thoughtful member. He knew exactly what will make you happy and I think this was what I neglected doing – thanking him for his generosity. Ram if you’re reading this, the Dominicans sure are lucky to have you around!

We had a dream then, that the four of us, Ram, Marlon, Ariel and myself, will concelebrate Mass and will have one heck of a time giving homily flavored with our kind of humor. But just like the “landmarks” of our time together, this dream will never happen. Well at least with the Mass with the four of us concelebrating. Ariel’s work brings him to Africa and Latin America, I am here making Americans feel they’re speaking to someone in Florida regarding their bills. Both of us, I guess, are more comfortable being lay people. Marlon and Ram would just have to follow through on that dream.

For now, I will just be happy waiting every summer for our coffee together… what’s saddening about this.. the things that we savor reminiscing will wear out over the years.. replaced by the gaps from the last time we enjoyed the Boxerhoods experience.

And laughter will be few and far between, capped by a silent nod… and a sip on a stale coffee, an ornament to our melancholia.

Apo ng Bold Star!

My tenure, I just learned from our PPM, is 1 year and 130 days. I survived transition, I survived the “learning curve” phase, and I am now surviving the “I-no-longer-want-to-work” phase. What probably keeps me from resigning is the people I work with. We bitch around just to get by. Alex said we don’t need the title to bitch around. True. These days, I just have to amuse myself just to prevent myself from releasing the call on a very difficult customer.

I had a customer so frustrated with a refund that was promised (but was never requested by a previous rep) that all I could do was to apologize. I promised I will process the request and asked if she can wait eight days for the refund. Since she had no choice she said she’ll give us one more chance and could I please help her find the channel number for Murder, She Wrote on her TV? I did try to help her but couldn’t find it in my tools. A weird idea came up, just to diffuse the tension. I called her Mrs. Fletcher, pretending I was an absent-minded rep. She laughed and I apologized (fake!) and said, “I’m really sorry, Ms. Reed, the show was my favorite too and actually made me want to be a writer. “

She opened up and said she writes too and hoped to publish a book in the future. We went on talking about writing and poetry. I was about to tell her I am a published writer coming up with press releases and decided against it. She might ask how she can find my articles and that would create another “rapport-but-bad-for-handling-time” situation. She won’t be able to find my articles. I’m on the other side of the globe!!!

I told her to try self-publishing and do research over the internet but she said she had a stroke when she was 21 and that it’s very difficult for her to use a computer. I wish Ms. Reed gets published. Heck, I wish I get published first!

Another customer called and when asked what her concern was, she said, “I just called to say goodbye. Ok? Goodbye.” Dumbfounded, I said, “I’m sorry?” Then she went on to say that she called up 40 minutes ago to pay over the phone and when she got the confirmation number for the payment she dropped the call. Apparently, our IVR made a callback and rang her phone. She picked up the phone and since our IVR recognized it as a new call, gave her the endless menu. She hung up, her phone rang again, and gave her the menu. She chose some of the options hoping to find one that would terminate the call for good. Not finding one, she hung up. It rang her up again. It was an endless loop. So finally, she waited, 12 minutes tops, for a rep to pick up the phone. She got me. I hope that when we did end the call, the IVR stopped ringing her up.

Well… I’ve been using Patrick as my call name for three months now (oddly enough, I find it difficult to say Dominic the way Americans chose to say it -”Dominique”). Good thing March 17 is my rest day. I’ve been asked a lot if I was born March 17 (St. Patrick’s Day). I finally had to come up with an answer.

“No, I was born December 20, St. Dominic Guzman’s feast day. But my mom decided to name me after my grandfather, who was born March 17. His name is Patrick….. My last name is Guzman.”

Lolo ko si Patrick Guzman!

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